Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

We’ve been looking at how to forgive and keep forgiving. Last time we looked at:

1. Forgive whether the offender receive the forgiveness or not.
2. Acknowledge that the offender is a sinful human being who Jesus loves
3. Stop “re-living” the offense.
4. Forgiveness starts by receiving God’s forgiveness.
5. Forgiveness is foundational to our own peace and quiet.

Today we’ll look at a few more forgiveness strategies:

6. Remember that vengeance belongs to God (He repays—Rom 12:19). Even in the natural realm what goes around comes around. If someone hurt us intentionally, we can be pretty sure they’ve been hurt, themselves. And we can be pretty sure they won’t get away with it. Crazy as it may seem, life has a way of making people who spread misery miserable.

7. Still struggling with forgiveness? Try this: Every time you think of the offender, bless them (Lk 6:28). Say a quick prayer of blessing. Say “Father, please bless [name of the offender] and give them a good day.” It’s hard to stay unforgiving when you’re praying for someone. Jesus told us to love our enemies (ibid.). Send them love in a prayer.

8. Give up your right to know why. A lot of difficulty in forgiveness comes from wondering. “Why did they do this to me?” “Why did God allow them to hurt me?” “What did I do to deserve this?” That’s working under the tyranny of ‘I must know the reason’. And that is a miserable tyrant. If God wants us to know, He’ll tell us. Otherwise, we’ll just have to wait for heaven…and when we get there it probably won’t matter.

9. Testify (at least to yourself and God) “How is God being faithful to bring me through this trial?” Testifying to God’s goodness is a healing balm, and refocuses our attention on a God of perfect love (Mark 5:19)…even when we don’t understand what is going on.

Speaking of testifying, no one ever lays in his or her deathbed and says, “I wish I stayed angry longer.” They’re far more likely to say: “I forgive <the offender>,” or “I love you.” Wise people don’t wait to die to resolve hurts and offenses, or to forgive them.

10. Often the feeling of resentment fades as our focus turns (intentionally or not) from the person who wronged us to other things. “Remember the Alamo”, or “Remember 911” are sayings people use to keep us in a state of outrage and unforgiveness. They know that it’s natural to heal as we slowly turn our attention toward other facets of our lives… because we’re no longer focusing on the person that wronged us.

Understand that whether we like it or not, over time, we’ll stop feeling the pain, so why hold on to something that’s going to fade away anyway?