“She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the law of kindness is on her tongue”  Proverbs 31:26

In the proverb describing an excellent wife, her character is summed up in what proceeds from her mouth. How do we open our mouths? With wisdom and kindness or with foolishness and unkindness?

We continue our checklist for our tongues.

–Do We Criticize People Before First Speaking with Them and Seeking Their Restoration?
     “And if your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone ” (Matthew 18:15). Going to anyone else with our criticism before going to the person we are criticizing directly is condemned here.
     “He who gives an answer before he hears, it is folly and shame to him…. The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him” (Proverbs 18:13, 17). Believing one who criticizes without going and getting the story from the other side is condemned here.
     “Debate your cause with your neighbor himself, and disclose not the secret of another, lest he who hears it correct thee and your shame will not turn away” (Proverbs 25:8-10).

–Does our Conversation Use God’s Name Taken in Vain?**
     “You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain (Exodus 20:7; Deuteronomy 5:11).
     “Through Him, then, let us offer up a sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of lips which make confession to His name” (Hebrews 13:15).
     “For the name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles through you” (Romans 2:24). Note: this and other passages suggest that when we castigate fellow believers we are blaspheming God.

** I realize that taking God’s name in vain is so common in our world, and even in our churches, that we may need to discover what it is to take God’s name in vain in the first place. In general, it is any time we speak of God the Father, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit and don’t really mean God the Father, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit. Examples. “Praise the Lord!” when we really mean: that’s great! and no actual thought of God is intended at all. When we say “Oh my God!” at calamity or surprise, and it’s not a prayer, but an exclamation. When we say “Jesus!” or “Jesus Christ!” at calamity or surprise, and it’s not a prayer, but an exclamation. When we say “Come Lord Jesus”, the way we might say “Beam me up, Scotty” (i.e. we really don’t want Jesus to come, we’re just disgusted with whatever is happening). This is by no means an exhaustive list. You can probably think of more, yourself. Did you notice that all these phrases can be used rightly as well as wrongly? It all depends on our hearts.

–Do we Speak Uncharitably?
     “Love is long-suffering and is kind…does not behave itself unseemly, seeks not its own, is not provoked, takes not account of evil, rejoices not in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; it bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).