Now therefore, I pray, if I have found grace in your sight, show me now your way, that I may know you, that I may find grace in your sight  Exodus 33:13

Have you ever read a Christian book on rekindling the spark of love in marriage? These books not only show how to diagnose the nature of marital problems, but also give specific, practical steps and activities to help correct the problems. All of this might be helpful, or it might be useless, depending on the readers and their problems.

The same goes for dieting books, exercise, and a myriad of other problem-fix books and programs out there. There is a market for a “simple formula” we can employ to fix our not-so-simple problems. That’s one of the reasons it’s difficult to give a one-size-fits all answer to solving the first-love dilemma.

I think this is what Jesus faced in writing to the Ephesians. He knew a 3-step process wasn’t going to be useful to them. So what does He do? He gives us some broad relationship-improvement ideas.

First, He tells us to consider the heights from which we have fallen. Think long and hard about how it used to be compared to now. Admit the problem. A lot of times we fall away from pure relationship, even on a human level, by not paying attention. By having our focus on other things. Or if we notice, we’re in fire-fighting mode: “Yeah, that’s a problem. I’ll get back to it as soon as I get through this task.” Human relationships don’t work very well for people who do that often. Our first love with Jesus won’t either. So pay attention. Don’t put it off. Don’t deceive yourself.

Then, He tells us to do the things we did at first. Since this is probably different for each one of us, He doesn’t say what those “things” are. But one thing is common for each of us: This calls for a break in routine. Just like when many come to Jesus in the first place (and each person has a unique salvation experience), it’s a radical shift in what we consider important, where our relationship time and energy is directed, and what’s going on in our heads and hearts.

Finally, He tells us to have ears to hear and “heed” what the Holy Spirit is saying to us personally. That word “heed” means to observe and follow. Knowing that one-answer-won’t-fit-all, He has given us His Spirit. It’s like the Bible says so many times: “Today, hear his voice. Do not harden your hearts.” The Spirit knows what is lacking in your love for Jesus and is standing by with the answer. Don’t say, “No, that can’t be what God is saying!” Don’t say, “As soon as I get through…I’ll do it.” Or, “I’m not that type of Christian”. That’s hardening our hearts.

Paul tells us, “He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it” (1 Thes 5:24). Ultimately, the Spirit uses whatever it is we need to get us to where we need to be. But He gets us there quicker and easier if we cooperate. We ask Him. He’ll direct our path.