Correct the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.  1 Thessalonians 5:14

We have a name for people who obsess on correcting others all the time. It’s ‘narcissist’. They use correction as a means of raising themselves above others…to control people…to keep people in shame. And whether they realize it or not, they do a lot of harm.

Nicodemus (the Pharisee who visited Jesus under the cloak of darkness) represented his fellow spiritual leaders in their conclusion that Jesus had come to condemn and correct. Jesus set the record straight. He had come to save us, not condemn us. Jesus actually came to break the curse and shame that accompanies it and replace it with life and light (Jn 3:17, 1:4). It’s no wonder Nicodemus didn’t understand. His entire culture revolved around pride and its partner, shame.

The Bible has an amazing amount to say about how to correct someone. It doesn’t forbid correcting a brother or sister, but it has to be done correctly. There’s a time for correction, but that correction should be occasional, and in line with today’s verse. Filled with encouragement, help and patience.

Sometimes our correction will take the form of confronting (Gal 1:6). Sometimes it will take the form of helping someone in their weakness (Lk 11:46). Sometimes it will take the form of instruction and prescribing a better way (2 Tim 3:16). But it will always be done with a spirit of patience. Not anger, not frustration, but patience.

This is how do we help people really change: Pray. Encourage. Patiently correct. Repeat. Too often we get this backwards. We correct far more than we pray or encourage. The result? We destroy the relationship. We discourage the repenter. And the outcome is no change.

Why is it so easy to get caught up in frustration, shaming, and pride when helping a repenter? We’ll look at that next time.